I’m guilty of this. Many of my choices have been influenced by other people. It can be incredibly frustrating to think you know what you should be doing and have the opinions of others weighing you down. 

People love to give you their take on what you’re doing. You’ll hear things such as, “You should do it this way”, “I’m not certified to speak on this, but…”, or even the classic, “I think what you’re doing is stupid”.

I’ve also heard, “You’re going to blow away in the wind if you keep losing weight” and “You’re still not done with your weight loss? I think you’ve lost enough”. 

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is screen-shot-2024-04-18-at-8.53.59-pm.png
Photo of Kate in beginning of September 2023
(Who doesn’t smile that big over pizza, Shirley Temples, and reunions with friends?)

You’ll even get the commentary on your food choices. “Why are you eating that?”, “Just have some fries, it won’t hurt you.” Or, my personal favorite, “One piece of cake can’t do that much damage”.

I think for a lot of people who are working through food demons, like myself, one piece of cake can do a lot of damage. One piece of cake can easily turn into two, and three, and then the entire cake. And for people who have been overweight for so many years and are finally losing the weight, hearing, “I think you’ve lost enough” when they’re still not at their desired physique can be detrimental.

This is happening to me right now. I’m hearing, “You look incredible! You must be so proud of yourself… But, it’s time to stop losing weight.” I’m still not where I want to be and hearing this is messing with my head. It makes me want to throw in the towel and be done with the weight loss. Especially when I’m struggling with my food intake and my deficit calories.

Maybe they’re right, I think. I should take a break. Then the little voice in my head reminds me, Katherine Lee Domenichella, you set out on this journey for a reason. You are done with the yo-yo dieting. You owe it to YOU to finish this the way YOU want to finish this.

And so I keep grinding. I continue to go to the gym. I continue to eat in a calorie deficit. But some days are really f**king tough and I’d be lying if I said any of this was easy.

As someone who doesn’t like confrontation because I never want to make anyone upset with me, I struggle with these conversations. I shut down. And I actually walk away feeling incredibly pissed. These are hard conversations to have. But if you’re like me, you need to stop listening to people who aren’t in your shoes and who have never been in your shoes. 

This is especially true when it comes to weight loss. It’s such a taboo topic. There’s so much misinformation out there and just so much information in general. You have to decide the approach that works best for you – not the approach that worked for Sue or the approach that worked for Matt. You don’t even have to use my approach if that doesn’t work for you! (Steff is happily taking on nutrition clients, so if you’re interested in working with my Coach, reach out here!) There are a plethora of options available to you on your weight loss journey. Do your research, figure out what you need to be successful, put in the work, and keep your head down. 

Kate’s first day at Total Fitness & Nutrition in September 2023!

You are the one who has to wake up every day in your body. Only your opinion of yourself matters. How do you feel when you look in the mirror? How do you feel wearing your favorite pair of jeans? That’s what matters. Not Joe Shmoe’s opinion.

Just my $0.02.

How about you? Do you have the opinions of others weighing you down?

See you Tuesday!
~ K


12 responses to “Stop listening to people who aren’t in your shoes”

  1. Karen Figueiredo Avatar
    Karen Figueiredo

    you re kicking butt !!!! stay on you journey, keep pushing forward !!!! you are working so hard !!!!!!!! so happy for u!

    Like

    1. Kate Domenichella Avatar

      Thanks, Karen! Your comment means a lot. 🙂

      Like

  2. Bonnie Avatar
    Bonnie

    thank you for sharing your journey and being so brave to share the experience. Strong, smart, beautiful.

    Like

    1. Kate Domenichella Avatar

      Thank you, Bonnie! I appreciate your comment. 🙂

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  3. Bea Avatar
    Bea

    you go girl! You are doing great. Do what makes you happy! To heck with others. Your goal is yours alone!!

    Like

    1. Kate Domenichella Avatar

      Thanks, Momma D! ❤️

      Like

  4. Gabbi Avatar
    Gabbi

    i have one bad ass cousin!! So proud of you. You truly are a huge inspiration for me!❤️

    Like

    1. Kate Domenichella Avatar

      Awe, thank you cousin! That means a lot to me ❤️

      Like

  5. Kerri Avatar
    Kerri

    I really loved reading this post, Kate. It really resonated with me. The “you should do it this way” and “just have another piece of pizza” commentary gets old, even when from well-meaning people. I wonder sometimes if these people and comments are brought into our lives during times like this to strengthen us emotionally and mentally, so we can learn to strongly stand our ground during tough times throughout this (lifelong) health journey. I agree with you, we have to stay true to ourselves and always remember what we need and want in our lives. 

    Thank you for sharing your journey and for being an inspiration! 🙂

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    1. Kate Domenichella Avatar

      Thank you, Kerri! I agree with what you said that these people/comments are brought into our lives to strengthen us emotionally and mentally. We can do hard things, even when it seems impossible. Thank you so much for following along! ❤️

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  6. A tale of two coaches: why who you have on your side matters – Taking Back Kate Avatar

    […] hate confrontation, and you may remember this from the Stop listening to people who aren’t in your shoes post I did, but after hemming and hawing over his text to renew for another 16 weeks and having […]

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  7. 56.2 pounds and 21.25 inches lost in 36 weeks – Taking Back Kate Avatar

    […] People will have their opinions about your weight loss. You know what they say about opinions… 😉 Just stay the course. (I talked about this in another blog post.) […]

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